Did you once think that if only someone loved you in that “special way” you would be happy for the rest of your life?
Were you/Are you pre-occupied with the notions of love as expressed in music, movies and fiction?
Have you ever tried to talk yourself into loving someone you weren’t particularly fond of because you needed the love NOW?
Have you felt the need to prop up or do a total makeover on your partner early on in your relationship rather than admit that he/she wasn’t right for you and end it?
Have you stayed in a bad relationship or repeatedly returned to an ex-partner because you couldn’t stand to be alone?
When you are in a committed relationship do you wonder if you chose the RIGHT one or fantasize about a lover from your past, thinking you should have kept him or her and then you would be happier?
Have you used the words “soul mate” in reference to how love should be?
Since age 18 what is the longest period of time you were totally unattached and not fretting about some love interest?
Are you able to take the time necessary to heal and do a thorough post mortem on a failed relationship before running out to find a new “friend” which quickly becomes a rebound lover?
Do you expect your lover to make you feel loved and lovable?
I won’t ask you to score or rate yourself. You know who you are!
Don’t feel too badly about it. I was a member of the love addicts club for a good portion of my life as well. I too was in love with love.
I have built my career on this issue, working with ordinary people who are lost when it comes to finding and sustaining a healthy relationship, stuck in a cycle of pain and disappointment in others and themselves.
They believe that either they just can’t find the right one or that the early infatuation waned and they are no longer “in love”. Some jump from one relationship to another in search of that wonderful feeling they once had. Others stay, despite feeling dissatisfied, harboring secret thoughts of leaving, cultivating emotional affairs, or cheating from time to time, having no clue about the real problem.